Silence in a loud room watching the crowd move as I lose my mind. Cold,Is the feeling emanating from my body, darkness is all I see
How can I feel and see this when the lights are bright and the heat is on full blast. The pressure of being cordial in a room of people I’ve never seen before is causing more anxiety than the trip to this location
How can do much fear trickle into my psyche?
How can I cave so much in this moment? Why is hole I have to climb out of so deep
Why in this moment
Wait, do I feel a tear?
Am I about t to weep? I came into this place feeling like a lion, why do I now feel like a sheep?
Why do my legs feel so week?
Why do I sense so much defeat and I haven’t even gotten to the challenge yet
I’m so afraid that if someone approaches me my wind pipes will close instantly and I’ll forget to speak
Goddamn I hate social anxiety
I hate feeling like an outcast to society
Plagued with this mental disorder that forced me to look at my reflection in disdain
Disapproval of my own person prevents me from functioning normally amongst ppl
Even the ones I love
Shit I can’t breathe
Shit I can’t see
Shit I have to leave
I’m sorry don’t mind me I’m disappearing into myself
I’ll be back in a few short weeks after I’m done beating myself up
Until then, I’ll see you later

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