I think back on my ptsd

And I realize how many black souls are destroyed
by the systemic hopelessness of our communities

From the claustrophobic households of project buildings

To the crackheads lingering on the streets,
To the gang violence
And all the lil homies that meet an early end
We grew up in war zones

All of us are survivors of a cataclysmic trauma that shook us from feet to head
We grew up watching so many of our friends end up dead
Asking ourselves
How will I lose my head?

Will it be via six feet?
With several pieces of lead penetrating my body?

Our will I become trapped in my psyche as the ptsd drains me of all my life force

The worst part is, I don’t know if I could be killed by my own kind, or by the military dressed in blue

Been stopped by the cops so many times
For shit I never did
Shit I don’t even know what to do
Been frisked
Slammed on a car
Verbally abused

Is there any safe haven for the black youth?
We out here in this never ending cycle,
Nobody questions our mental state when we end up on the news

But these lil white boys can shoot up a school
And suddenly the have mental health issues
There’s so much pain that comes from us. But instead we’re the problem in America,

Never are we viewed as children lost because of the bad decisions of our predesessors
That prosecuted our parents and destroyed our communities and clumped is up together and took our leaders.


naw we’re just inconsiderate, belligerent, ungrateful black youths

We deserve to be in jail or dead.

Nobody ever looked to examine the trauma that lingers in our heads.

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