You were all I never wanted

You were all I never wanted,
But the time I realized this truth it was too late.
Now I’m living with the trauma of your
Your
Toxicity
The anxiety that shrouds my mind keeps me from opening my heart to another

I’m sitting here decompressing your suffocation
And I’m hyperventilating trying to recover from the good memories covered in the bad feelings and control and blame and the pain

You were all I never wanted, and it kills me everyday
Because at one time I believed you were here to stay and every memory of that idea fades every time I remember how you tried to make my soul decay and my heart was torn away from me with every “ I love you” you used to say
And here I am crying on this beautiful day
Somehow it rains on a sunny day, now my head bursts remembering all those times we used to lay because they are followed up by all those horrible things you used to say

You were all I never wanted
And now all I want is for the thought of you to go away

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