Toxicity is a concept that has been thrown around a lot in the past few years. As people, we are beginning to realize and relinquish the toxic energies that have surrounded our beings and lives for generations. This concept is especially prevalent within the black community, where a lot of young people and older, including myself (young people) are destroying old concepts. Everything from toxic parenting to toxic work culture and relationships, friendships the list goes on.
The beauty of this concept is that we are now seeing the darkness that has seeped into our souls for generations and destroyed our mental health. In the black community, this is a tremendous step toward success. this is because for so long black mental health has been an afterthought. We have been told to pray to god, or we’ll get over it when expressing mental health concerns. So many of us turned to alcohol, or weed, or drugs to escape from our traumas. The traumas of poverty, mass incarceration, police brutality, crabs in a barrel, racism, toxic relationships. For generations, we’ve been built to endure these degradations on our humanity and now we are finally cleansing ourselves of these toxic energies.
However, how often do we challenge our own toxicity? Often times the word toxic can be used as an escape from our own toxicities or triggers in my opinion. As if our defenses go up when something we don’t like comes face to face with us and we can’t handle the adversity. Don’t get me wrong, most of us are dealing with traumas that have designed us to be who we are. But, how often do we look in the mirror and challenge the darkness within ourselves? How often do we run away from certain things out of our own toxic energy? Not everything is toxic, sometimes we are just so consumed with our own toxicity that we don’t challenge ourselves enough to get through things.
Note: just because you have some toxic traits doesn’t mean you’re a completely toxic person. We all have toxic traits. But these don’t make us bad people or hurtful to everyone.
We must however, recognize our own toxic traits when healing and avoiding toxicity in my opinion.
Challenge your triggers. Dig deep into them and understand why you feel what you feel.
We may be entitled to our feelings. However that doesn’t always make it right. We must be able to see pictures vividly from every perspective.
At the same time, not excluding our personal feelings or the fact that our reactions of any situation can stem from our own toxic energies.
Another disclaimer, you don’t have to deal with anything that doesn’t make you happy. But the next time youre triggered, take a step back and think as to why youre triggered before you put your defenses up or run away. it can go a long way to alleviating your traumas and dealing with your mental health. The best teacher is experience. When you run into a situation that is similar to the situation that caused you trauma, take that step back to see why youre triggered.
And always, seek professional help.
again too, you don’t have to face any triggers or toxic energy.
But you do have to face your toxicity. Sometimes, it is our own toxicity that gets in our way. And often we don’t even notice it because we’re so busy deflecting and assuming that others are toxic.
We have to do better to recognize and battle our toxicities.
Me personally, I’m defensive, I have my own toxic masculinity traits that as a man I’m cyphering through. Often times I’m afraid to be wrong in my own quest for perfection so I try to assume as if I know everything. I know I don’t. I’m taking the time to battle my own toxicity, by sitting in new experiences and challenging myself not to react, or admitting I don’t know but I believe that something is something. I get frustrated easily and shut down, get moody. I’m dismissive as well. Plus a plethora of other toxic traits I may not be able to recognize in this moment
It is important to battle our own toxicity within, if we don’t we will have a terrible experience dealing with the toxicity around us. We aren’t perfect, but we can do better to be our best selves.
The most important objective to anyone dealing with trauma is to seek therapy, I’m no expert, this is just a young black man sharing his sentiments. Please, if you are dealing with mental health issues, seek therapy. Talk to a professional.
Thank you for reading.
What are some of the toxic traits you may have that you’re trying to eliminate?
Do you believe you’re a toxic person?