As a person, I’m very passionate and I care for people’s opinions. I care so deeply that there was a time when I became someone who wasn’t myself in order to please everyone else. I spent so much time listening to people that I forgot what I liked as a person and became a shell of who I am. This reality plunged me into a darkness I could not get out of.
To this day I listen to people’s opinions too often attempting to please them. I get it, we’re all human, we all like different things. I find myself at times trying to impose my own views on people. That’s not the intent consciously, but subconsciously I do it far too frequently. I’m opinionated, I believe strongly in my own opinion, thus I impose. I may be doing it here as a writer telling you to stop listening to people…well, because you do, even me.
We listen to people and everything goes down south. Have you ever wanted to do something and someone convinced you out of it because of their fears?
Have you ever had someone lecture you on what to do in a scenario and it ruined your experience?
Do you find yourself struggling with your won thoughts because the validity of others pressures your psyche? Then yes, you listen to people too often. You need to stop listening to people.
Now, why would I tell you to stop listening to me? That’s a good question. I’m going to give you the answer here.
You’ll lose yourself
As I said in the previous section. I lost myself attempting to appease others. When listening to people, it is easy to take everything in and do what they say. That’s the easy route. Someone who’s been there or thinks they know the way will try to show you. However, everyone’s path is different. Everyone thinks and appreciates different things. We all like different genres of music and different foods.
Picture this, you love to teach, It’s your passion, It’s what youre going to school for. However, someone tells you you’d be a better physician or doctor, and you listen to them Now you’re dragging your feet attempting to do what someone thought you should be doing and you’ve lost who you are and what you want to be because of it. I’ve had people tell me I should become a politician because I believe in justice and am opinionated. It eventually pushed me into politics and wanting to become a lawyer. Halfway through the process, I realized that it was nowhere near what I wanted to do because I realized I had a passion for writing and storytelling. When you listen to people you take on their persona and ideas, and it taints your own, forcing you to become more like them and less like you. Don’t listen to people, even me.
2. Appeasing people doesn’t help you
Doing things to make someone else happy doesn’t work in your favor at all. People always tell me “this is for your better interest” or ” you should do this”. No, I shouldn’t, I should do what I believe is right. I need to follow my own path to figure out what’s right for me. Yes, people at times have been in your shoes and know how certain events play out. But experience is the greatest teacher. If you ever try, you’ll never know. Doing what someone says to appease them won’t help you in the long run. It’s paramount that you achieve things to appease yourself.
I’ve had a friend once tell me they were going to school to make their mother happy. This person had no interest in school at all. Their desire was to make music and beats, but their mother went to school so they had to too. This conversation is so prevalent in young people’s lives. Their parents want them to become doctors or lawyers so they can make money and make it out. However, the person wished to do other things. Thus they got stuck being miserable trying to appease their parents or grandparents or siblings instead of themselves. That type of anxiety and depression can ruin someone.
3. your vision gets blurred
As a writer, I publish all the time, and I have people that come to me and say, you should’ve written about this. Or this won’t work for certain people you gotta adjust this. I don’t write for people, I write for myself. Writing is my release and my passion. It also is something I’m pursuing for a career. I have a vision and a dream for myself. And though that dream may be altered from time to time I try to avoid it being blurred by people’s opinions.
In life, people will use their binoculars to try to change your ocular prowess based on their perceptions of reality. The problem I that it blurs your vision of what that reality looks like. I’ve been both a victim and a victimizer of that.
4. No one has the right answer
there is no right way. There is no straight forward path. there are journeys, and there are destinations. Our journeys are all different and our destinations are all different based on those journeys. No one has the blueprint to the success you’re seeking. Because it is the success you’re seeking. Now people may have shortcuts and alternate paths that can lead you down to where you’re going. But that doesn’t equate to having the right answer.
this is the beauty of opinion, that’s why everyone has one. But that doesn’t mean you should always listen to someone’s opinion because it’s not always right. No one truly knows right or wrong it’s just what they believe to be right. The reality is it’s about what YOU believe to be is right and you only. your perception is your reality and it is paramount that you stick to it and not allow people’s answers to define your answer.
We are all people, we all have opinions we’re entitled to and we all believe in something. That doesn’t mean we need to listen to each other all the time because we can at times impose our beliefs onto others blurring their painting of what the world is. You don’ have to listen to everyone all the time. Even as this is written, don’t listen to me. Take what people say with a grain of salt. At the end f the day you have to live with the decisions you made and not them. So, stop listening to people, even me