Thrill is a two way street
The great poet Rick Ross once said, “ Right now I could re-write history. I stopped writing so f**k it I’ll do it mentally.” Those words ring like the liberty bell on an early morning, I can’t stop hearing them. The ability to make history with my writing, but the incapability of putting thought to paper. Therefore, I keep the thoughts in my mind shielding them from the outside world. There’s no other way to explain the rising excitement of writing history vs the mental battle that consumes the thought.
The bone-chilling feeling of being the curator of the history that is unfolding right between our eyes is such a thrilling experience. And when I say thrilling, I mean it on both ends of the spectrum. There is the thrill in being a writer who is documenting the events of this pandemic. The thrill of being a historian that will have their work become primary sources for historians years from now is a positive thrill. The thrill of death, despair, and uncertainty, as well as documenting these tragedies is where the negativity is born. In this post, I’m going to reveal to you the vulnerability that is felt in one writing the history of this pandemic as it unfolds.
Being able to become a part of the written history of this pandemic is an exciting time. Especially being a young professional in his own freelance writing and journalistic journey. I’m exhilarated to have the capability to write about this pandemic. There’s a bit of adventure to the uncertainty in documenting people’s uncertainty. Why is this? This is because everyone is experiencing this pandemic differently. Some people are suffering from mass panic and having a hard time coping with this “ new normal”. Others are taking advantage of this situation and finding ways to “get a leg up”.
For writers, this is a great opportunity to do so. for me, I find it imperative to write down not only my experience but people’s experiences to understand the raw feelings of this new reality we’re facing. I believe it’s important to get the real feeling that is going on so that those reading the stories understand the hurt, pain, excitement of the situation being experienced. This is the thrill of it. Hearing people’s stories and creating compelling pieces that draw others to sympathize, empathize, and mobilize is what I write for. Despite all the horrors occurring in this time, being able to record history is a shining light in the darkness. However, there’s a plethora of darkness in all this light, and that is the disturbing aspect of this pandemic.
Listening to people talk about the loved ones they’ve lost hurts like hell. It makes me as a human being cherish the people I have more. A family friend of mine lost their mother due to COVID-19. The tragedy shook me as a person. As a storyteller, listening to people who have people in their life perish during these uncertain times can rupture your soul. There is so much anguish and confusion. There’s raw pain and destruction. The virus doesn’t discriminate, and as of now, there are no easy means to treat it. So of those that become infected and suffer from its most severe effects are susceptible to death. that means anyone could go. Imagine having to write down the story of your loved one passing, or another’s loved one passing. These are the types of stories we’re writing.
Yes, death is a part of life but even so, it hurts every time it happens. On top of that, we’re living in a time where no one is safe from the jaws of COVID-19 and the jaws of death. This type of thrill, no one wants. On top of that, writing the right story can be concerning as well. With this pandemic being the focal point of everything going on, new stories are occurring hourly. This means you could be inaccurate right after you post. As a writer, I want to be able to give people stories they can trust, as well as not spill fear into their hearts. With this pandemic, that is a troublesome task. A great challenge, but it induces anxiety far too quickly. It is for this very reason that writing in this pandemic is so thrilling that goosebumps rise on my skin every time I touch the keyboard. However, it is something that must be done.
There is a chilling feeling pouring out of my fingers as I write about the thrill of being a writer during this experience. The feeling gets colder and colder with every word I type. I’m afraid and exhilarated at the same time as if adrenaline has taken over my body. I have no idea if this is good or bad.