They weren’t lying when they said a lot can change in a year. This especially rings true for me who at 24 years of age was wondering curiously into the unknown as I took a leap of faith into the darkness in order to create some type of light on my own. Fresh out of college with two degrees, uncertain, battered, and unaware of my path I had just quit my dead-end job at the red lion in pursuit of more money, and the ability to chase my passion in writing. These are the Reflections of a Hopeless Creative
As I sit back and reflect on the year I’ve had, I can honestly say that the decision to no-call-no show that job was my greatest choice and a marker for the greatness I had in store. This as well as a test to all of the greatness I have in store. I’ve always been up-tight and calculated, always overthinking the situation and second-guessing decisions. As aloof as I am I’m always thinking, but for the first time, I didn’t think. I trusted my gut and took a leap of faith. And I can honestly say I’ve been soaring ever since.
Not without a little turbulence of course, every journey is rocky and has hiccups, however, those are the stories that make the destination worthwhile. Sitting here reflecting on a year as my 26th birthday comes on the horizon, I can smile and appreciate my growth and how I pushed myself to be a better me the entire time. These are the Reflections of a Hopeless Creative.
Looking back on the year I’ve had I can say I’m happy with my progress, yet not satisfied with my current destination. Quitting my job last year and pursuing my passion hasn’t bore the fruit I thought it would. However, that has a lot to do with the grind, my effort, and just understanding that I’m where I need to be right now. any journey doesn’t begin with you flying off the runway and soaring into the sunset. No, the game is designed to test you. it’s up to you whether to fold under its pressure or push through the pain to see the sunny outcomes.
For me, I can honestly say in a reflection that I have put in some honest work as a writer. I am currently a published author with my first poetry book titled Confessions of a Hopeless Creative. I am also an improving journalist both freelancing and working for an online company. At this point i’m drafting stories for a fiction book as well as developing my second and third poetry books that align with my current 5 year plan. But, I know i haven’t put in nearly as much work as I could be.
I’ll admit, I’m lazy at times. that has a lot to do with me breaking my generational curses, the constant environment that produces lack like a sweatshop making Jordan in a limited time frame, as well as my initial disbelief in myself. By no means are these excuses, they are me understanding the limitations that are placed upon my psyche and as to why I haven’t realized my full potential. they are markers of how far I’ve come, and how far I need to go. As I continue to reflect on this year, I’m appreciative of the progress I’ve made and understanding that I have just scratched the surface of what I’m capable of. It is a beautiful process of self-love that I was a young black man relishing in every single chance I get.
more reflections of a hopeless Creative
Now, to the nitty-gritty. Looking back to what I have accomplished. I’ve pursued a writing career. I’m the first to say I’m still finding my solid niches, but I believe that I excel in motivation, sports, creation, poetry, and assisting in a community narrative that highlights the good aspects of community-fighting systems that bind them. The last one is long, I know, if you need better understanding, just check out some of my previous work, I’ll leave attachments on this piece. As I’ve been able to narrow my writing niches and journalistic style, I can look back onto my failures and be grateful I didn’t succeed in those positions. Why do I say that? Well this is because those failures had they been successes wouldn’t be successes for me.
For example, an acquaintance got me an interview for two writing positions in the NYS assembly. To most this would seem like a dream position. For me, as a person with a degree in politics and a passion for writing this would be a perfect fit correct? No. I’m a creative writer with a powerful ability to control the English language due to my natural ability to bend words to my liking. This is a 9-5 job in which I would’ve had to write someone’s words for them in strict guidelines. As a naturally great writer, I would’ve excelled, but my soul would’ve felt encased in pressure and exhaustion. Therefore, i’m grateful that i didn’t get those jobs. It would’ve looked great on a resume and the upward mobility into the political sphere would’ve been a boon as well. But this isn’t the divine path I’m supposed to follow.
My divine path
My divine path is through creation and motivation. Through helping those in need through my words. By telling our stories in impoverished communities through passionate writing, being a historian. Therefore, I need my creativity to play the vanguard in any writing I create. This is no easy task. Many writing jobs have strict guidelines that have to be followed. This is the reason why I’ve fallen out of some of the writing gigs I’ve had in this past year. However, they have given me the necessary concepts for me to create my own media outlet that has my full creative control.
This is what’s propelling me to take this site to the next level. this in cohesion with a partner to create another site that puts our vision into a tangible resource for historical writing in our area. I sit back and reflect on this journey. It is all a learning curve as a starving artist. And i’m taking bits and pieces from others. This has helped me mold my own voice and express it. This year has been a blessing in disguise for me. I’ve learned so much. As a writer, a creator, and a community leader I’m learning the tricks of the trade. I’m honestly salivating at the potential for what I create next.
This year I assisted my mentor in delivering over 1800 pizza to people in need during a global pandemic. I’ve marched and motivated people through protests alongside other mentors. I’ve built a network and shown flashes of my writing genius to my area of the map.Also, Blavity, a prominent black owned media site published my submitted work not once, but twice!!! This has helped me even start a few organizations that are pushing for tangible change in the capital district area. Our aims are to assist impoverished communities especially our own. This hopeless creative, has taken strides to walk in his divine light. And I accredit that to quitting my job. I love the progress I’ve made. The best part of all of this, I published my first work.
a Hopeless Creative
My greatest creation yet. My amalgamation of poems titled Confessions of A Hopeless Creative. This is the mountain top of the year for me and is the marker of my greatness dwelling inside. I’m passionate about the next strides I’m going to make in writing and helping people. I can’t tell what my future holds, But I can for damn sure know who holds my future.
As I end this piece on reflections, I call anyone reading this to action. chase your passion. Believe in yourself and appreciate the process. Know that you are capable of brilliance in every facet of life and that you deserve to be here. Appreciate what you’ve done, because you hold value and to reflect on your failures with a smile. Look at your successes with a grain of salt, seeing how you can maximize the next success. And lastly, be the greatest you you possibly can be. I can’t wait till next year when I write the next Reflections of a Hopeless Creative
thank you for reading.