I was asked a question by my grandmother recently that stuck with my psyche for a couple of days.
What do you love about yourself the most?
I had to take a moment and truly ask myself that question and find answers about it because I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head.
This is because I don’t love myself, well I didn’t, so finding things I love about myself is hard initially.
The reason why I’m so conflicted With what I love about myself is that I grew up with conflicting ideas of love. Growing up an alternative black kid who loved dinosaurs and pokemon and anime, I was laughed at often for being weird. Also, I was highly in tune with my emotions. Therefore I didn’t hold back when I was shunned or bullied.
Add this on top of being a black man In America. A world designed to destroy the image of who I am and what I’m supposed to love. Loving myself is a journey I hate pursuing because hate for myself is all I know. So to ask a young black man in America what they love about themselves is the equivalent to finding life on other planets in our universe. It’s nearly impossible.
I was raised to not love the qualities of myself that made me the most. Thus, I grew up distorted in how love was for myself. So when I say it’s difficult to say what I love about myself the most, I mean it with every ounce of energy in my heart. However, as a young man who is doing the shadow work to love himself, I can identify a few things that I’m loving about myself. Here they are.
I love that I’m a writer
First and foremost, I’m a writer. I’ve published two poetry books confessions of a hopeless Creative and The Quarantine Chronicles. Both are available on amazon.com and my website, Adonisinquiry.com. I have a third book in the works coming in late 2022, or early 2023. Writing is my passion and my release. I grew up with a mastery of the English language and a powerful desire to share stories. Therefore, I pursue writing as a career. I write about sports, I write about motivation, poetry, love, etc. I write just about anything. Not just because I can, but because I love to. I love to hear feedback from my writing. Especially when people come to me and say “ this spoke to me.” I love to express my feelings and energy through words.
Writing is such a release for me. And I adore the feeling. My dream is to become a highly successful published author and New York Times bestseller. I have all the confidence That I will achieve it. I can accredit this to my love for writing stories that people resonate with. As well as making complex concepts sound simple to people.
I love that I’m a creator
I love creation. Watching people get the ability to explore the confines of my mind is something I truly adore. I love to collaborate ideas and create masterful images and realities that explore the world through a variety of complex ideas. Creating shows is something I love. I love to draw and paint and create new poetry. I love to create characters in cartoons, anime, sitcoms, you name it. Creativity is so expansive and dynamic and if I could create all day I would without hesitation.
I love that I motivate people
To get someone to come up to me and say that my words pushed them to do or be better warms my heart every time. I love to use my words to push (find synonyms) people to be their best selves. The feeling of inspiring others is stated to be the highest act of humanity. And one of my life goals is to motivate people through my words and actions.
I love my capacity for love
I love passionately and deeply. I have a lot of love in my heart for everything around me. I love love. I love the feeling of love.
I love being black
I’m black as soot. I’m the descendant of black kings and queens. I am a part of the most hated demographic on the planet and I love every bit of it. I love how my culture is the catalyst for everything popular in this world. From music to fashion, to sports and the list goes on. I love how the sunlight is absorbed by my melanated skin. I love being able to appreciate and encourage black people, voices, ideas. I love my people’s spirit. I just love being black. There are so many things about my race that I can’t help but enjoy. Loving being black has allowed me to see beyond the racism that acts like volcanic clouds shrouding the sun and purifying the world.
Being able to identify what I love about myself is a journey I have to restructure every single day. It is by learning about the things I love that I discover how to love myself.
These five things I love are in no particular order. However, they are the qualities about myself that I love the most. As I pursue the self-love necessary to be the best possible human being I can be in this world I look to the things about myself I love in order to return said love into the world.