Once again we are here for National Poetry Month, with another Poem . On Day 8 National Poetry Month from the Lucid Writers circle delivers a poem a day for your reading pleasure. On Day 8 National Poetry Month is thriving and the words keep coming.
I remember you.
I remember you.
I remember thing things you used to do.
I remember the half empty bottle and the cup
Filled to the brim of god knows what
Hanging over the edge of the bed
I remember the loud music and the sounds of people you’ll never see again
I remember the vomit coursing from the ends of your stomach
and shooting out like a volcano out of your mouth onto
Any unsuspecting patron in the vicinity
I remember watching you lose consciousness
The optics of your loss of senses revealed to me the endless
mind games you played on yourself day after day after day after day
The continuous reminders of you don’t love yourself
I remember not knowing how to love myself
I remember drowning in bottles and mindless cycles of craving
rejection just to create a falsified reflection of the man I wasn’t
Just to justify the false narrative that I wasn’t deserving of love
I remember the inflections and the misdirections and the falling apart
I remember the anxiety crippling me whenever
I would start and the depression telling me I couldn’t finish
And every single moment I would diminish my own value
just to allow another motherfucker the grave to feel
I remember hating myself
Every single fucking day
Wishing my own life away
I remember hating myself.
I remember thinking I have no wealth
No reason to live
But in reality
I was destroying myself.
Because I was too afraid to give
I was too torn from people taking.
I was shaken from people that had shaken the goodness out of me, the only thing I thought would give me value
Because the intelligence was shunned and the talent people would look away from.
Because the desire to become mediocre surpassed my inner greatness.