I promised myself that once I got my apartment and became settled, I would dedicate myself full time to my writing. Since I got my apartment just before National poetry month, I found the perfect time to start writing. As a writer and a poet, I have this free time and the monkey off my back to write consistently. Therefore, here is day one of my 100-day blog. I’ll start them off with a poem, then lead off into ways I challenge myself to become better as a human being all the while logging my daily journeys.
Now Without further adieu, here is my 100-day blog, day 1. I’ll start with who I am. But first, A poem.
The title poem for Confessions of A Hopeless Creative.
The loneliness was forcing me to crumble…
Long nights stuck within these four walls in a house full of people
I was unraveling…
All I could feel was my soul shattering in the madness of my own mind.
The loud music was deafening my screams inside
I couldn’t force myself to cry…
These two tear ducts stopped the cascades of pain, anxiety,
and depression from rushing out my eyes
And as I stared down this large bottle of dark alcohol in this seemingly empty bottle that only enhanced my sorrow into a full pitch-black room of despair.
I learned the hate within myself was directed toward the man in the mirror.
I never loved myself
And these college years I spent staring at this dry paint revealed the whole parts that made me I hated so deeply.
I witness myself rot in a box I designed myself.
The long moments attempting to fit in trying to find myself.
All the failed attempts to discover the man that was jammed within this condensed soul,
I was lost.
I spent so much time running away from me, adjusting to everything around me like a chameleon avoiding a predator, my inferiority complex forced me to shrink in a world where I was supposed to enlarge.
Now staring back from a distant star at the past matter in the rearview I thank myself for the time I spent learning this valuable lesson.
I am enough, I’ve always been.
And as I shine like the star I am I hope not to blind you with everything I am but to be a guiding light to anyone being swallowed by their own darknesses.
This is my moment, I’m here to claim it. It is because of the darkness I embraced that I am capable of shining in the pitches of blacks.
I now am on the attack, seeking new challenges
Hopeful, replacing the emptiness that was hopeless
Redefining the design that the divine meticulously devised for me
Shedding the skin I was once in.
Emulating the persona of a wholesome being
Rising like the phoenix from the ashes of an old, cold life
Taking everything that belongs to me
I am, because of what I was.
Confessions of a Hopeless creative
Who Am I?
My name Is Adonis Richards. I am a 26-year-old black male who is a professional writer, leader, motivator, and entrepreneur. I hail from Schenectady, New York. Even though I was born and raised there, I 6 ½ years in college at SUNY Potsdam. There I earned a bachelor’s in Political Science, and a master’s In leadership and technology with an education technology background. ( essentially and communications and business degree). I am the 1st of 10 children, and the first since my grandmother to receive an advanced degree. I own a writing business, titled LucidWritersLLC.
I’m a young professional desiring to better myself and others, I love basketball, I love to read, go on adventures, and most of all, I love to write. Writing is my passion. Always has been. I started taking my writing seriously about 5 years ago when I was in college, birthing my first website adonisinquiry.com. This manifested into my first poetry book, and eventually, a few writing gigs paid and unpaid. I love to write sports stories, motivational pieces, poetry, and adventure stories. My primary focus is on poetry and sports. There’s a lot more to me, but I think it’s better articulated through what I do.
What Do I do?
Well, I write. I am currently a two-time published author with my books Confessions Of A Hopeless Creative and The quarantine Chronicles. In a couple of days, I will have published my third collection of poems, Onyx: A Solid Affinity. I currently am a staff writer for Belly Up Sports. And I write on medium, vocal, and Ello. I run a writing and publishing company titled LucidwritersLLC. Here I do content writing, copywriting, publishing, web design, and graphic design. Most of it is freelancing, but it is something I’m passionate about, contracting here and there. One day it will become my main stream of Income.
I am a community leader in Schenectady, New York. I do a lot of humanitarian work with an organization titled the Wealth Club founded by community leader William Rivas. We have collectively done work such as delivered 2800 and 1000 backpacks during a pandemic, as well as a plethora of other projects currently operating and in the works. I am working on an apparel line that combines my poetry with a new logo design to motivate people. And I also am preparing to start motivational speaking. I am currently employed by the New York State Department of Health as a contact tracer.
As per this description, I wear a lot of hats. I love it though. Even though I juggle a lot of things and am busy 24/7, I love the work. I love the creation and my dedication to become better and create better outlets for my community. I’m able to do so through the hats I wear and I’m becoming more and more efficient as I work more and more. It can get exhausting, but the exhaustion to me is good. Why? Because I’m exhausted doing the things I’m passionate about. The work is never done, so I’ll never lose energy doing it. I’ll do this till I have nothing left to give. And right now I have a lot to give to this world. So that’s what I’ll do.
Well, This is me, this is my day 1. I hope you guys join in and see what I offer for the next 100 days, see you tomorrow! Take care!!
Check out my website, adonisinquiry.com